Heartless
by Balandria
Summary: Finding a person outside in the forest could only help him come to terms with his past. It's hard to give up on things lost, and more so when they come back to haunt you. Yaoi.


Games » Kingdom Hearts » **Heartless**

B s : A A A

Author: Balandria

Rated: T - English - Romance/General - Reviews: 2 - Published: 02-24-09 - Updated: 02-24-09

id:4881996

**A/N: **I'd like to mention that this in a slight AU. Pretend that Organization XIII had never formed and there was no mission for "_Kingdom Heaaaarrrtssss!_" as Xehanort/Xemnas so eloquently put it.

The idea for this just hit me like a ton of bricks--only, Zexion was in Demyx's situation and vice-versa. I've ever written a yaoi fanfiction, so this is a firstie. Please don't hurt me, devoted Zemyx lovers! I love them, too!

**Warnings:** Some pretty serious soda spillage. Oh, and implied sexual themes at the end. Hey, once you get near the end, you can just turn away, kiddos.

**Heartless**

By: Balandria

Zexion woke feeling the ghost of being keyed up. This is an unusual occurrence for the slate-haired boy seeing as he usually liked to sit still for whole nights in a quiet room, reading a book. It's simple to say that the scholar had never wanted to escape that habitat before. But tonight was different and he quickly tugged a jacket on and went, climbing down several staircases of the mansion he resided in, before stepping outside...

To see that it was raining.

He considered going back up to retrieve his umbrella but brushed the aside, thinking that the situation had improved in great heaps. Maybe the rain could help him escape the foreign feelings.

For minutes he wandered around the forest surrounding the mansion, glad that for once during the long months of summer, the rain wasn't muggy. It quite helped him clear his head--and successfully soaked his clothing thoroughly. He knew that he would most likely was going to earn a cold tomorrow for his nightly endeavors, and with that thought in mind, was about to turn back but that was when he began hearing a pained moaning and sobbing.

It was quiet and sad, but Zexion heard it nevertheless. He wondered why anyone would be so far out in the middle of nowhere, while it was raining, and _crying_ of all things.

Tentatively, he ventured further, following the quiet hiccups and shaky breaths to a fairly large oak. He glanced at it confusedly, before going around it.

On the other side of the trunk, he found a pathetic looking boy, huddled up on himself, hugging his knees to his chest.

He watched in wonder at the boy before kneeling down, curtly trying to unattatch the hands from the death-grip they had on the legs. Zexion had no concern over the fact that he truly had no right to touch this person, and ignored the faint concern he felt--which was rather rare in itself.

Ocean-blue and teary eyes met his cobalt in an incredulous stare. Zexion felt no words were needed as he helped the boy up and dragged him back to his mansion. Nor did he feel the need for an explanation--on either of their parts--when he dragged the boy further in and settled him in the guest room across from his.

The only moment when Zexion spoke to the boy was with a rather forceful, "_Sleep_," and left the room hurriedly in an attempt to let the boy relax and sleep out the last wave of tears, for he must have grown tired from both crying and the long trek to Zexion's mansion.

~`*`~

In the morning, Zexion announced to his parents that he brought a boy home.

Mr. Akira Fumihiko practically spit his coffee back into his mug and shot a wide-eyed look at his son.

"Is he...a friend, dear?" His mother, Emi Fumihiko, asked tentatively, because lord knows they didn't expect their anti-social son to have a sexuality at all.

"No."

His father's jaw worked but no words would come out.

"I," Zexion continued, "found him in the forest."

The adults' eyebrows rose and they glanced at each other, exchanging the fact that--_yes_, they were both missing something, here.

"So, I believe that it is correct to not call him a friend, seeing as he is a stranger." The boy finished, taking a quick and graceful swig of his morning tea with a flourish.

"Dear...?" His mother said gently, for her son to elaborate.

"He is upstairs in the room across the hall from mine, if you wish to speak to him."

"But...why was a person wandering outside in the forest?" Emi inquired, a little more curious than nervous, wondering about the workings of her son's mind. "And why did you bring him in?"

"I have no clue as to why he was in the forest--as I have not questioned him. In fact, I'm sure that he is thoroughly confused and that is the only thing that is pulling me through the curiosity of last night..." he mused, implying that he was amused by the boy's confusion and he was being perfectly sadistic towards the poor boy, mentally and secretly. This bout of odd behavior would pass as quickly as it came, though, and he went back to addressing his mother. "I brought him in because he was cold and wet, soaked from the rain, and he was crying. I felt pity."

Zexion rarely told people his feelings to people so thoroughly, but understood his mother's curiosity--treating him somewhat like a science experiment--because he was a curious creature to his parents and they enjoyed quietly studying his reasonings. The fact that they weren't pushing him into a couch to moan and bitch about his life told him that they were equals, and he could hold things in if he wished. But considering that they were the ones who were taking care of him--and the fact that he was particularly as fond of his parents as a teenager could be--he indulged them with their questions and realizations.

Still, unbeknownst to his parents, he held back quite a lot.

He felt extremely confused at how concentrated the feelings from last night were. Usually, he only felt a dull ache of emotion that was quickly forgotten and/or brushed aside. It was nothing--just a ghost of emotion, like the night before when he had felt so keyed up.

But last night when he heard the quiet crying, he felt truly curious and concerned--so much so that it was like a punch to the gut in intensity.

That only doubled when he saw his object of concern. A boy--with whom he felt the notion he was being unfair to, to call a boy, as much as it was fair to call himself a boy at the age of sixteen even if he was considered to some as, yes, a child--who had actually been taller than him with an odd head of hair, he couldn't help noticing, though it had been changed from it's usual state to become plastered around his face from the rain. His eyes were slightly red from crying, and bloodshot, but arresting.

Overall, the boy who had to be around Zexion's age, had caught his undying attention and affection--though he was unaware of feeling such affection--and had reminded Zexion of a child. Yes, he looked like a young boy, and there was an unknown force that had made Zexion treat the boy as such--a child.

Now, he merely felt the ghost of guilt, and a full-blown confusion of his actions from last night. That is, before he decided to brush it off and call it a mishap never to happen again unless the boy caught him off-guard by repeating the situation over again--even though there was no doing that, because Zexion didn't see it possible that the boy could look even more sad than that night all cold, wet, and alone.

So, no, it was strange, of course, but never would it happen again.

During his brooding, he didn't notice the horror on his parents' faces.

"You-You didn't even _do _anything?" Emi all but exclaimed.

"No, I did not. But go right ahead, if you would like--of course, if he didn't escape while we were asleep, as I was very, very tired and there is a possibility he could have left." He took another drink. "You know that I am a very deep sleeper."

"But, honey--" She stopped herself and sighed. "I must go help the poor dear!"

And with that, she rushed away from the dining room to the room Zexion had told her about.

Zexion glanced at Akira and shrugged. "I am sorry, father, if this puts you out."

The man knit his fair eyebrows and shook his head. "Of course not. The situation is a bit...strange, but I don't mind. If the boy is still here, he can stay as long as he wants before returning to his family."

"But, what is he...?" Zexion began and they exchanged a knowing look.

Akira nodded. "Then we'll take him to Ansem. If so, it would be nice for him to stay."

The slate-haired boy stared blankly at the dining room table before saying quietly, "I hope he isn't."

"Don't you want company?" Akira asked, shocked.

Zexion tilted his head in thought. "I am fine among my studies. Besides, I don't wish that on anyone, you know."

His father paused before nodding again. "I understand, Zexion. I'm sorry."

Zexion raised an eyebrow. "No, it is fine, father. I know that you did not mean anything by it. Now, I'm sure you'd like to go examine the boy along with mother, wouldn't you?"

Akira smiled wide, and his father held the warmth of the proudest father in the world. "You know me so well."

"I would have to." The teenager noted, sounding quite bored with the fact. "I am your son, aren't I?"

Akira kept his grin on. He shook his head fondly before leaving Zexion alone at the table to go up the stairs.

~`*`~

Emi curled her sun-kissed, thin arms around Zexion's pale neck, before whispering sadly, "He is."

Zexion felt the breath he wasn't aware of holding blow out of his body in mockery of the emotion he was feeling--exactly like a punch in the gut, as he had observed at an earlier time.

It was the night after he found the boy out in the forest, and his parents had stayed with the boy and recovered information. Turns out that he was exactly what Zexion had dreaded.

His mother, after a long few moments, unwove her arms and settled back a little to look her son in the eye with earnest sadness with a hint of interest. "We are going to contact Ansem. He'll know what to do."

She moved away, going to the door of Zexion's room. "You know," she said absently once at the door. "maybe you should speak to him. When he isn't crying, he is actually quite charming. Besides, I'm sure that he'd enjoy some company."

As Emi left, he mulled over this. As stated before, Zexion was pretty anti-social. Conversation with strangers made him feel the ghost of being awkward and out of place. It also irritated him how people felt that there was a need to fill the silence with insistent chatter. Sometimes it was enough to make Zexion feel like his ears were moments from bleeding--or running away, just from the torture of it.

After negotiating the situation over with himself a few times, he got up and went across the hall, knocking on the closed door.

"Come in!" A voice called.

Zexion slowly let himself in, hesitant the whole time, wondering if it was too late to just turn around--before regaining his composure, and nerve.

He met the ocean-blue eyes again and paused. How can this person be...? It blew Zexion's mind, but trusted his parents with the legitimacy of their information.

"Oh, hello," the blond boy said cheerily, the perfect opposite of the creature he saw last night, with his strange hair in it's normal form, all mullet-y and mohawk-y. (A/N: Yes, yes, I know that it is very OOC of Zexion to add a -_y_ to the end of his words but I couldn't resist and I can't promise that this will be the last time I do it.) "Sorry, I thought you were your mom for a moment. She's a nice lady."

The boy paused before continuing hastily, adding, "Not that I thought that you were your mom when you _stepped in_! I thought that it was her knocking; not that you have dainty knocks or that your mom has hearty ones! You all have regular knocks--they sound the same."

Zexion quirked an eyebrow. Wasn't he feeling awkward just a moment ago? Oh well. Maybe he was enjoying seeing the boy get all awkward instead of him.

Either way, Zexion ignored the boy's mini-rant and nodded in greeting, before sitting at the couch across from the bed.

"Anyway--I'm Demyx!" The blond said, seeming to ignore his rant as well.

Zexion nodded again, just a little. "Zexion Fumihiko. Ansem--he can give you a last name if you'd like."

Demyx smiled a little and shook his head. "Naw, I'll just use the one I remember. Isoko. Demyx Isoko. Ain't bad."

There was a slight silence after that, Zexion feeling no need to comment.

Demyx hung his head a little and smiled sadly. "Thanks...you know, for last night."

The slate-haired teen raised an eyebrow once more. "I take it that you won't be telling me why you were there."

The blond started and stared down at his hands. Then he shrugged. "It's not important."

Zexion frowned. He supposed that the blond's definition of "important" must be spectacularly different from his. Still, he wasn't exactly getting the vibe of welcomeness on the subject.

He sighed quietly. "Do not worry, Demyx Isoko. I'll not pry...for now."

He absently wondered if that sounded too foreboding, but Demyx seemed to relax hugely and slumped down in his bed. "Thanks."

The taller boy glanced around. "Nice place your folks got here."

"It might be yours soon, if you want to be under the custody of my parents." Zexion noted.

"Yeah. I like them." Demyx nodded slowly.

"Do you wish to stay here?"

"I have no where else to go..." He said softly.

"No," Zexion said, rather stonily, "you do. There are plenty of people Ansem can place you with."

"Who is this Ansem?" Demyx demanded, seeming nearly bi-polar with his switch of moods. "I've been hearing all this talk of a guy named Ansem. _Ansem, Ansem, Ansem_. Yeah, but who the hell is he?"

"My parents did not tell you?"

He was answered with a shaken head.

"Ah," he nodded, understanding. "They must have wanted you to adjust. Avoid the subject, if you will. No matter, it's better to get these things over with.

"I'm sure that you realize your situation--albeit, only slightly. Still." Zexion paused a little before continuing. "Ansem is a person that helps people like us. People...with no hearts."

~`*`~

Demyx faced the man with red bandages wrapped around his face--or ribbons, maybe?--nearly all the way with hesitance. The man unnerved him, obvious enough for Zexion to see, though it wasn't like Demyx wasn't quite the open-book.

"I see." The man said in his deep and cultured voice. "Come, boy, do you remember yourself? Or rather, who you were?"

Demyx swallowed heavily and nodded. "Yes."

"And you understand that you aren't that person anymore?"

The blond took a deep breath. "Yes."

Ansem nodded. "I do not want you to consider that a bad thing. Think of it as a fresh start." He seemed to be smiling from beneath his bandages, a completely inappropriate action for the situation.

"But...what if I was having a good life?" He asked quietly. "Why wouldn't I want to go back to that?"

The man frowned. "There is no way that you could. As I said before, you are not the person that you were. Even holding on your previous last name is dangerous to your health. Boy, do you understand the person you used to be? Do you understand all of their actions? Would you do the same things?"

"...No."

"And that is because _you are not the same person_. You are Demyx now, with a new personality and appearance. You are not your former self. It is just like a past-life that you can remember thoroughly and just happened not too long ago. The life that you used to have isn't yours. You need to build a new one."

"I...I don't..." Demyx faltered then shut up.

"Start a new life," Ansem repeated. "Make friends. Fall in love. Enjoy the new you." He said, sounding like a man on an infomercial.

"But..." The blond protesting. "I thought we didn't have any hearts."

Ansem scoffed. "My boy, just because you don't have a physical heart, you still have a metaphorical one."

"Then why can't I feel anything?" And Zexion froze.

What he saw hurt to see. Demyx didn't have that smile on his face and his voice sounded monotone. But what really broke him was to see the life slowly fade from Demyx's ocean-blue eyes.

"Ever since I...changed...I've felt blank." Demyx frowned for a moment before returning his face to it's natural blank state. Demyx looked like a porcelain doll in that moment--wide eyes with thick lashes, and a perfect face, all of it unemotional.

"Why, then, did Zexion, here, find you crying?" The bandaged man questioned.

Demyx smiled softly. "I was crying for the loss of love."

Ansem paused.

There was a small silence.

Then Ansem decided to bang the metaphorical--as Ansem _did _love him some metaphors, it seems--gavel. "You will live with the Fumihikos. It seems that you'll fit in quite nicely there."

And Zexion wished that it had been that statement that hurt the most that evening, but, sadly, it was not.

~`*`~

"Hey, Zexy?" A familiar and increasingly annoying voice broke into his trance, a week later.

He looked over, and--yep, there he was. All him and his blond-ness.

Demyx decided to don an odd black coat that nearly reached his knees and closed with the combined efforts of a zipper and a silver chain every time he went outside. It seems that he must have been outside not too long ago, as he still wore it, with the hood down.

He found himself glaring at that ridiculous hair and lowered his cobalt eyes--one eye, to Demyx, as only one was visible--to the life-filled eyes of Demyx. Demyx didn't let his eyes go blank ever since the "Ansem-Incident" and, frankly, it irritated Zexion.

If Demyx was feeling some other way than what he showed--and even admitted to all of Ansem, Zexion, Akira and Emi that he always felt that way--then why fake an emotion?

It was ridiculous. Still...Zexion still didn't want to pry. No, not yet. Not when Demyx had barely settled in yet.

"Emi and I are going to make pancakes. You want some?"

Zexion blanched. "My mother knows that I do not like sugary foods." (A/N: Ha! I fit in another -_y_ word, but it sounded normal, didn't it? Admit it!)

"So that's a no...?" At that the blond earned a curt nod. "'Kay. We'll see if we can get you something else later, if you want."

He shrugged a little. "If you wish."

Demyx nodded happily. "Alright, then! See ya in a few, Zexy!"

"Oi," he yelled after Demyx escaped out of the door. "Don't call me that stupid nickname!"

~`*`~

A few nights later was the first time--but certainly not the last--that Demyx and Zexion fought.

It began when Demyx asked if Zexion wanted some of the ice cream they bought. Zexion said no.

Demyx sat there with that happy face plastered on his face. Zexion grit his teeth. (A/N: Imagine someone getting angry at the Wal-Mart guy.)

It was the last straw when Demyx tripped--and it was an accident, Zexion was sure, but that doesn't lessen what happened--and his glass of soda fell on Zexion's brand new and interesting book, ruining it beyond belief. Then Demyx tried to fix it but it resulted in the pages getting torn out of the binding and ripped in half.

So Zexion decided to connect his fist to Demyx's face in one of the most painful of ways.

Zexion--not generally a strong or violent type--was shocked at the anger he felt and the punch he gave Demyx, but rolled with it, and even easier when Demyx decided to hit back.

It ended when Akira tore them apart.

It's simple to say that the next morning they were covered in bruises and cuts.

It's difficult to say that they resented each other from then on. Because that would be a lie.

~`*`~

A month later--Zexion not knowing--Demyx followed Zexion when he left the house and trailed him until Zexion went into a field and disappeared into a thick grove of trees.

He felt a little anxious but kept following anyway.

Demyx didn't dare to make a sound, and if he did, Zexion would have no idea what to do because what Zexion was doing ate at him every step of the way and made the hollow in his chest feel even--if possible--more empty than ever.

Demyx watched in awe of Zexion's sad expression, amazed to find that emotion fall on the teenager's face.

Demyx was even more surprised when they stepped into a graveyard.

Zexion knelt by a headstone being grown over with plants, giving the impression that no one has visited in a while, except for the flowers that had wilted, but it couldn't have been too long ago.

The slate-haired teen clutched at his chest and Demyx saw his form shaking.

A few minutes later Zexion rose abruptly and turned in Demyx's direction, eye filled with unshed tears.

"Seen enough, Demyx?" He called out, voice rough.

Demyx hesitated before coming out of his hiding spot. "I was curious..."

"I wouldn't mind having some privacy." Zexion said with a dangerous icy tone in his voice.

"I've never seen you sad."

The boy frowned. "That is because, unlike you, I show my emotions."

Demyx's nervous and tiny smile faltered for a moment. "I'm not...hiding how I feel, Zex."

He rolled his eyes. "I thought that you felt nothing."

"That's not...! I..."

"We're nobodies. Created to live for nothing. That's the protocol, right?" Zexion started to walk away from Demyx. "Whatever. You wouldn't understand. I'm going home."

"B-but, Zexion, wait!"

"Why should I?" He called back, still walking.

"I...I'm sorry, Zex."

"No you aren't, Demyx. You feel no emotion, therefore you cannot feel sorrow."

"I really am, though!"

Zexion groaned. "I'm not in the mood for this. Just leave me alone, for once, Demyx."

The blond watched his slate-haired adoptive brother walk away and felt moisture brim on his eyelids. "But...but I _am_, Zexion."

~`*`~

Zexion curled his legs under his body and sat on his legs, while placed pleasantly in his favorite couch in the library of the mansion.

The silence was too good to be true. Demyx was leaving him alone. _Really_ leaving him alone.

It's been more than a month, and the only time he'd seen the blond had been at meals or in the living room, practicing on the instrument that the Fumihikos bought him and he'd been besotted with it since.

The music was nice--but the silence was better.

Or so he thought. Because after a while it started to bug him, just like the night that started his whole damned situation.

Of course, as fate has it out for Zexion, he'd thought too soon, because not long after these thoughts ran through his head, he saw a silent blond walking quietly through the library; one of the largest rooms, and therefore, easy to hide in.

Zexion chose his hiding place to be the Western shelf, as it was the closest but immediately regretted it when Demyx spotted him despite his efforts, hesitantly walked over to the shelf, took a quick look at the books and looked back at the slate-haired male, "Howdy there, Cowboy Zexion."

"Fuck..." he breathed, in annoyance, quite uncharacteristically, like how he sometimes acted around the blond musician, but he'd long since grown used to this phenomenon."_What_, Demyx?"

"Hey, don't be like that." Demyx pleaded. "I haven't spoken to you in, like, a month, or something, even though I wanted to. Hear me out. Please?"

"No."

"_Please?_"

"No, Demyx, where I went when you stalked me was rather personal and I'm still pretty pissed off at you."

Demyx turned on the puppy-dog eyes. "_Please_, Zexy?"

A muscle above Zexion's hidden eyebrow twitched. "Demyx, don't."

"Please?!?!?!"

Zexion sighed. "I'll listen, but I promise nothing." The puppy-dog eyes seemed to work every time, as cliché as it was.

"Yes! O-okay, good." Demyx was grinning hugely, and made an effort to calm himself. He took a deep breath. "I...Zexion, I wasn't lying when I said that I was sorry. When I followed you that day, it was because you were leaving the house by yourself and I'd never seen you do that before. I didn't know you were going to somebody's grave. If I knew, then I wouldn't've followed you."

Zexion kept listening.

"It's stupid to say that I feel nothing, 'cause I think that sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't. But that day I felt guilty and sad. I really was sorry."

The shorter boy faintly knew that he was being stupid when he said "Prove it."

"Prove..._how_?"

"I do not know. Beg? I want you to always show your emotion on your face. Don't fake anything." Zexion stated. "If you can manage that at all times, then I'll forgive you for your idiocy. Even though I'm sure a situation will happen again eventually."

Demyx smiled lightly. "'Kay, then. Trust me; I'll prove I'm sorry."

He kept smiling and it _looked _real enough. Demyx swooped in to hug Zexion. "Missed you, Zexy."

Awkwardly, Zexion patted Demyx on the head. "Me, too."

~`*`~

It had been nearly a week after that, and Demyx was sticking to Zexion like glue. He only left Zexion's side for the necessities like...the toilet. Or shower. But that was all. He insisted on sleepovers and hung out with him for 24-hours at a time.

One day, the blond groaned irritably, "Gah! A month was much too long! I simply don't think I can take it anymore! I'll never leave my best friend's side again!"

"Best friend?" Zexion questioned.

"Well, yeah, you're my best friend. Didn't you know that?"

He rolled his eyes. "Obviously not, Demyx."

"It's not like I talk to anyone else! Besides, I like you. You're my best friend."

"Hn."

"Am I _your_ best friend?"

Zexion glared. "You're my only friend...if I can even call you that."

"...Good enough!"

~`*`~

Sometimes, he believed Demyx to still be faking his emotions with how happy he acted. But then Demyx would get angry and Zexion would be in the background, chuckling silently to himself.

~`*`~

Demyx would not stop touching Zexion. And the slate-haired male was this close..._this close_...to shoving the blond's hands down Demyx's throat.

Demyx ran up to him and attacked him. "Zexy!"

They fell to the floor. "What the hell's wrong with you, Demyx!?"

"Oops, sorry."

But Demyx made no effort to get up, just snuggled in closer to Zexion, wrapping his strong and slender arms--unfortunately to the older and weaker boy--around the scholar's waist and nestling his head into the crook of Zexion's neck.

"Demyx, could you get off of me, please?"

"Nope. I'm hugging my best friend."

Zexion sighed. He had a feeling--an ominous and scary feeling. Like you were about to get diagnosed with a flesh-eating virus--that he'd get used to affection like this. And to his horror, he bet that he'd probably become affectionate, too. Shit.

~`*`~

Demyx stayed in bed all day. It's been...god, how long had it been. A year? A year since Demyx started living here.

And, god damn it, Zexion was worried about his idiot friend.

The slate-haired teen knocked on the musician's door.

No answer.

"Demyx?"

Silence.

"I'm going to come in, Demyx." Zexion stated fairly.

Nothing. Zexion took this as both a yes and a no, so he pretended it was a yes and opened the door.

Demyx was curled up in the covers, staring out the large window of his room and at the forest.

Zexion moved a little closer. "Demyx?"

Demyx turned his head and he looked faintly sad. "Zexion?"

"Are you alright?"

He shrugged weakly. "Maybe. I don't know."

"Do you need anything?"

The blond considered. "Will you come over here? Lie down?"

Zexion frowned, but did as he requested. He sat beside the blond's body. "Good enough."

Demyx laughed.

"What's wrong?"

He sighed. "I've just been thinking."

"That is dangerous, you know."

"Shut up." Demyx demanded irritably. "Anyway, I was just thinking about nobodies like us. I was wondering if...we...I was wondering why we existed. It's not like the world needs us."

"But...it does. We can do great things for the world if we wanted to."

Demyx shook his head. "But, really, we're inconsequential to the fate of the world. We're nobodies, not somebodies. It's not like I'll grow up--you know that we won't--and it's not like I can start a family. Isn't that the point of humans? To live, marry, reproduce, and die? Why can't we do that?

"But we can always die, I guess," Demyx continued. "I think that's the only real thing we _can_ do.

"People like us. _Me_, I'm not important."

"Hey," Zexion said softly. "I thought that I was supposed to be the emo one."

Demyx snorted.

"You're important." He insisted. "You have people that care about you. You can feel emotion. Just because we have no hearts doesn't mean that we shouldn't be allowed to live."

"It does, though! I mean, we're called _nobodies_, for god's sake. If that doesn't drop a heap of self-esteem on me, I don't know what will. Besides, who in the hell cares about me?"

Zexion scowled, and did something very uncharacteristic (A/N: 'Cause, let's face it, they are beginning to get _very _OOC. Fun, eh?) and slid down to wrap his arms around Demyx's slender--but definitely not as slender as Zexion's--waist, pressing his cheek to his chest, where his heart should be.

"I'm insulted," he began. "My parents, for one, love you as you are their own. As unlikely as it might be, Ansem is rather fond of you. And what am I--chopped liver?"

Demyx laughed. "No--chopped heart."

Zexion lifted his head and raised his eyebrows. "That...wasn't a very cute joke, Dem."

"Well, I can't control your sucky sense of humor so this is what I say to that--pshh." Demyx stuck his tongue out at Zexion.

"So, are you done contemplating throwing yourself off of the mansion rooftop?"

The blond scoffed. "If I was going to off myself, I'd be more classy than that."

"Answer the damn question."

"You know the answer for that, Zexy."

"So," he said uncertainly. "that would be a no...?"

"Duh." Demyx rolled his eyes.

They laid there for a while, Demyx's fingers threaded in Zexion's soft, dark hair, and Zexion still hugging Demyx.

"Hey, Dem?" Zexion asked tentatively.

"Hmm?"

"Are you ever going to tell me...why you were in the forest that day?"

Demyx froze; Zexion could feel it

"Well, are you?"

"I...," Demyx started. "I don't know why. My body just took me there."

Zexion leaned up on his elbows--unaware of the situation more than he thought--to get a better look at Demyx's face.

There was a very light flush covering Demyx's golden cheeks.

"Why...why did you help me?"

Zexion paused. "Because I felt sorry for you."

"That all?"

He considered if he should say more then he wiped all doubt from his mind. He trusted Demyx. "You reminded me of someone I used to know. Or...from my past life, I suppose."

Demyx was silent for a moment. "Huh. That's kinda weird."

Zexion shrugged before rolling off of the bed. "Call it what you will."

"Hey, wait." Demyx said suddenly.

Zexion stopped and looked at his friend. "What is it?"

There was a pregnant pause where Demyx seemed to be debating something with himself.

Finally, he took a deep breath. "Myde missed Ienzo."

There was a shorter--_much _shorter--pause before Demyx found himself pressed hard against the wall, throat gripped in the hand that had helped in hugging him earlier. It was a wonder that someone that was usually so gentle could make his body _hurt_...

"What the fuck did you just say?" Zexion demanded, cold fury on his face--though for stupidity's sake, Demyx corrected his observation, thinking, cold fury on _half _of Zexion's face.

Demyx couldn't really speak--what did Zexion expect him to do? Sign to him? Pantomime?

Instead, Demyx reached up and held Zexion's angry face carefully between his two palms. If anyone had walked in that moment, they would have seen quite the sight. Two boys, physically very close to each other right then, one having the life--or lack of?--choked out of him, while the other received a loving gesture.

"Don't you dare," Zexion said menacingly. "say either of those names again, so long as you live."

The shorter teen flexed his hand before letting go.

"Why not?" The blond coughed. "Don't I have a right to? One of them used to be my name, after all."

"Shut up."

Zexion clenched his hands at his sides.

"Zexion..." Demyx knit his brows together, pulling his friend closer.

A simple touch, just simple skin on skin, between friends. Could something so wrong feel so good? Obviously.

Zexion flinched when he felt Demyx's warm lips brush his own. Luckily, Demyx didn't try to hold him down. Zexion had frozen at the kiss but when Demyx pulled away, Zexion suddenly wasn't there but at the other side of the room, eye wide, the back of his hand pressed against his mouth.

This just made Demyx even more distressed. "Zexion, I'm sorry...I..."

But Zexion had escaped once more, not stopping till he reached the safe confines of his room, locking the door, and flopping down on the bed, once more, for the second time in a year, feeling keyed up.

Demyx on the other hand, could feel the empty ache of the whole in his chest and wanted to curl up and cry like he hadn't allowed himself to do for a year.

It was so stupid to feel this way, he thought. Not when he knew for certain, once he saw Zexion, who the slate-haired male was. And he knew that he was a different person from Ienzo, as he was a different person than Myde. Still, he remembered, and when he saw Zexion, he wanted to hold him. To have some comfort in his newly emotion-ridden life.

It was so unfair to Demyx. When he had first initiated that stupid friendship with Zexion about ten months ago, he was so beyond that. So not thinking of Zexion in _friendly_ ways. So, so, so stupid.

~`*`~

Zexion stayed in his room until night time, not being able to bear the fact that Demyx was across the hall from him. So, pulling a classic and idiotic move from the Handbook Of Run Away Teens, he tied any bed sheets, blankets, drapes and curtains together and slung it out his window. It took him a while, but he finally fell on his ass once he was five feet from the ground. Not bad, considering the place had about four or five stories. He never knew he had that much material in his room.

It seemed to be all in vain when he saw a certain blond boy sitting by a tree, scowling. "You could have just used the stairs. I was already down here."

"Watching my window?" Zexion replied incredulously.

Demyx snorted. "'Course not. I was seeing what was making such a ruckus and I wondered if someone was breaking into your room. Or if we had a burglar."

He paused and looked at the huge blanket rope hanging from Zexion's window. "That's a lotta cloth."

He held out a hand to Zexion. "Come on."

Zexion stared blankly at the tan hand and looked up into his face to see the ocean-blue eyes watching him calmly.

After a moment, Demyx withdrew the hand. "Fine. _Be _a homophobe, hypocrite."

Zexion stormed away, quite sure that Demyx would follow him, and was reassured when he heard the quiet patter of footsteps. "Did you just insult me twice in one sentence?"

"It isn't that hard to do, Zexy."

"But it is very rude."

Demyx snorted again. "_Rude_. Hmph." Then he sighed. "Anyway, look, I'm sorry about--"

"Be quiet. It doesn't matter."

"_It doesn't matter_?" Demyx repeated stupidly. "Of course it matters, Zexion!"

"Not in my opinion it doesn't. It's just skin on skin--nothing more." The scholar reasoned, although the thought of it still brought butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

Demyx stayed quiet. Then he laughed. "You're a real jackass, you know?"

"That didn't stop you from kissing me."

"No," he agreed. "No, it didn't."

"Anyhow, I didn't come out here just to escape from you. I had a reason." Zexion told him as they walked around in the forest, the slate-haired teen seeming to know the entire area from memory.

"Why?"

"Just follow me."

They navigated around, watching their steps carefully, as not to trip over tree roots or other highly trip-able things out in the forest. They went around, not noticing how friggin gigantic the trees around them were, or the wonder of the forest. There was no point--it was all so obvious to them.

Zexion stopped. "Here." He pointed. "Here's the tree where I found you."

"So what?" Demyx asked confusedly.

The boy reached out and latched his hand around the blond's wrist, pulling him around the trunk to the side where Demyx had been curled up.

"See for yourself." Zexion murmured, letting go.

Uncertainly, Demyx stepped forward, feeling his eyes widen.

Along the side were two names, etched in with crude handwriting.

**Ienzo Fumihiko + Myde Isoko**

He ran his fingers along the letters.

"It hardly seems fair," Zexion said. "that I basically get to keep my old life while you are torn from yours."

"This," Demyx asked shakily. "Was I drawn back to this?"

The shorter boy merely nodded.

"This is so stupid." He suddenly voiced. "I hate this. I hate my goddamned '_new life_'."

He slid down to sit at the tree and Zexion watched before sitting down beside him.

"I'm sorry." The boy said quietly. "I didn't expect you to be out here. I was going here alone, originally."

Demyx sighed and leaned his head back on the tree and looked at Zexion, who was currently watching the bright stars and moon.

"Do you hate me, Zexy?"

Zexion glanced over at him in surprise before looking back. "Of course not, Dem. We're best friends, remember?"

Well they would be, if Demyx stopped staring at him like that. Zexion felt a tiny shiver climb his spine and repressed any reaction that might make it obvious.

There was a quiet noise and suddenly Demyx was pulling Zexion over to hug him, setting his chin on top of Zexion's head.

Demyx rubbed Zexion's back soothingly and whispered into his hair, "It's alright, stupid. I love you, too."

:D **FOR NOW, IT'S THE END!** :D

**A/N: **God, they got really out of character, didn't they? I tried...really, I did. But! This is the real Zexion and Demyx to me. We didn't get to see either of them much in the games, so this is how I really perceive them to be. Like people love to make Demyx a ditz, but to me he's just really...teenager-ish. Y'know? And Zexion just seems really smooth and withdrawn. Whatever! I love them both! *snuggles with Zemyx in a totally PG-rated way* I have a feeling that this won't be the last of these two for me.

(Oh, and sorry 'bout the "Myde and Ienzo" stuff. I feel really ignorant about it, but it just happened. Who am I to deny my imagination freedom?)


End file.
